Forgive and forget?

Cross-posted from LiveJournal

I'm a Scorpio. Need I say more? (I'm also a writer, so I shall.)

I have experienced the fact that hatred and unforgivenes are poisons to oneself. But I like Ron Smothermon's definition of forgiveness (in the book Winning Through Enlightenment): 'giving up all claim to revenge'. (You might get revenge, but you can't be righteous about it ... and there will be consequences.) Forgiving the person frees up one's own energy to get on with life.

What forgiveness does NOT mean is condoning the behaviour, failing to hold the person accountable, going on as if nothing had happened, or keeping them in your life. You might choose to do any or all of those things, but then know it's a choice; it's not an inherent part of forgiveness, doesn't have to come with the territory.
I find it harder to forgive those who have wounded people dear to me than those who have done it directly to me. However, I know it is necessary for my own health, and in any case is not helpful to the people I care about. So I manage it.

In the few cases of serious betrayal I've experienced, my attitude to such persons is most certainly changed, and I have chosen to exclude them, implacably, from my life forevermore. Why would I keep people around me whom I disliked and distrusted?

If someone did something I considered despicable in a general kind of way, rather than personally to me or mine, and it was clear they meant it, yes my attitude to them would change: I would despise them for it, obviously. It might depend on the circumstances whether I called them on it or ignored it. I would probably say something rather than appear to condone it. I might continue to be polite thereafter, but they would not be numbered amongst my nearest and dearest.

 Leopards can change their spots — but it's rare, and I'd take a lot of convincing.

My Magickal Self

This originated as a meme on facebook. If anyone wants to know more about my background, this includes the little details one tends to forget in a more formal account. 

Some of you may like to pick it up as a meme yourselves. If so, please let me know where you post it so I can have a read! (The comments hereunder could be one possibility.)

Do you have a magickal name?
Yes, I have a public magickal name, DragonStar Rose, and another known only to me and the Goddess. Both were bestowed by Her.

Does it have a special meaning?
Yes. The public one refers to the fact that I am friendly with a tribe of dragons from their own planet. The Rose is added because there are many people with the magickal name DragonStar. The private name is also meaningful.

How did you find Wicca/Paganism?
Delicious, thank you. (Yes, smart-arse answer. But read on.)

How long have you been practicing?
All my life, but I didn't always know that's what it was called.

Solitary or group practitioner?
Both, but most often solitary. I was part of a coven for a few years: very special people and although we are scattered now we have never lost that bond.

What is your path?
Contemporary Eclectic.

Are you out of the broom closet?
Yes. I neither hide it nor flaunt it, and if asked I am truthful.

Gods/Goddess
Goddess & Gods

Who are your patron Gods?
Thoth is specifically my patron; I am also treated kindly by a number of others: Pan, Cernunnos, Lord Narasimhadeva, Ra, and of course the various alter egos of Thoth (Hermes, Odin, etc.)

Who are your patron Goddesses?
I am under the specific patronage and protection of Arachne. And I am also watched over by Ariadne, Sekhmet, Maat, Tauret, and Ishtar/Inanna. Hestia blesses my home.

Do you fear dark aspects of the Gods/Goddess, or rather, respect them?
Not fear but respect — as i do all their aspects.

Do you worship the Christian God?
No, but I love and revere Jesus as an ascended master and my friend.

Do you ever worship animals? Or plants?
No. I honour nature though.

Do you regularly commune with nature?
Not regularly so much as frequently.

Ever walked barefoot in the woods?
Seldom, but sometimes. Little opportunity these days.

Taken a camping trip just to talk to nature?
Not mad on camping. But communicating with nature is one benefit. However, there are other ways.

Describe the moment you felt closest to Mother Earth?
There are many.

What is/are your power animal(s)?
I think I'll keep that to myself.

Do you have a familiar?
One of my cats is my familiar. (The other is my protector.) I have had a number of familiars (one at a time), always cats.

Have you ever called upon the powers of an animal in ritual? Or a plant?
Yes.

Do you hug trees?
Sometimes.

Give them gifts?
Occasionally.

What is your favorite flower to work with?
I don't generally work with them.

What is your favorite tree to work with?
I relate to individual trees rather than species.

What are your favorite holidays?
Samhain. (It's the Scorpio in me.)

What is your least favorite holiday?
There isn't one.

Have you ever held a ritual on a holiday?
Yes whenever possible.

Ever taken a day off work to celebrate a pagan holiday?
It's always been possible to celebrate it without needing to do that.

Do you celebrate Yule on the 21st rather than the 25th?
I celebrate it on whichever day it falls in June.

Have you ever felt the Veil thin?
Absolutely.

Ever danced the Maypole?
Yes. Not often.

Know what the Maypole symbolizes?
Don't we all?!

Ever made love on Beltane?
Oh yes!

How do you usually celebrate the pagan holidays?
Home, alone, with a simple ritual generally.

Do you use Tarot?
Yes. I'm a professional Tarot reader and teacher, and used to be feature writer for The Magician, newsletter of the Tarot Guild of Australia.

Do you use runes?
Yes, I'm fond of the runes for my own use.

Do you use a pendulum?
Yes, and have taught its use and written a manual. Also have made many.

Do you use dowsing rods?
Sometimes. The pendulum is usually more convenient. I have my own dowsing rods, which I bought in America from a Native American who made them.

Do you use astrology?
No. I have a smattering, which can augment a Tarot reading, but I'm no astrologer.

Any other form of divination?
Pretty much all of them; also have created a number of oracles.


What was the first spell you did?
Goodness, I don't recall.

What was the latest?
Never you mind.

Ever done a love spell?
No, I think that's manipulative. I've done self-love spells, though.

A job spell?
Yes. For friends. (Haven't needed any for me.)

A healing spell?
Yes. Often!

What was the most powerful spell you've ever performed?
A banishing spell which had my friend's tormentor suddenly migrate to England.

Do you believe in Vampires? Werewolves? Shape shifters? Elves? Faeries? Dragons? Nymphs? Sprites? Mermaids? Sirens? Satyrs?
Yes - and the rest.

Ghosts/Spirits?
Yes.

Ever "seen" any of the above?
Yes.

Ever talked to any of the above?
Yes.

Ever called on any of the above in magick?
Yes.

Do you have one of them as a personal guardian?
Not just one.

Do you see a rabbit, a man or a woman in the moon?
None of the above. But when I see the moon, I understand that I am seeing the Goddess.

Own a cat?
Two. (Though I'd have to agree with others who point out that one does not exactly 'own' a cat; more the other way about.)


When you meditate what does your sacred/safe place look like?
That's private.

Do you work with Chakras?
Yes.

Do you believe in soul mates?
Yes, but not in the romantic version of only one forever.

Ever met one?
Yes. Several.

Do you have a Spirit guide?
Yes. Several.

Is it always love and light?
Love and light are good. So are darkness and passion.