Samhain Mysteries

It's the night of Samhain (here in the Southern Hemisphere) – when, according to Pagan tradition, 'the veil thins' and we not only remember and honour our dear departed and our ancestors, we may be visited by them.

All week, around town, I have kept seeing women who looked like Yasoda, a friend who died a little earlier than a year ago – and then they would turn around and the resemblance would fade. Only tonight I thought, 'Oh of course. It's Samhain.' And then a friend reminded me it was recently the anniversary of her passing. So I guess that between these dates she would come close.

Late this afternoon, I was sitting in my living room with three friends. One looked up, over my shoulder, and said, 'Someone's here.' I turned and saw nothing, but did feel a presence very strongly (which is my more usual way of perceiving the other-worldly). She said she'd seen someone 'flit' down the passage, someone apparently very familiar with the place, and had enough of a glimpse to see his height. 'Short,' she said, and I wondered if it was Andrew (my late husband). She went over and indicated where his height had reached – exactly the same as her own. I measured her against me, and said, 'Yes, that must have been Andrew.' He was just a fraction shorter than me, and she came to the same height. I picked up a pendulum which was once Andrew's and asked if it was him. I got a big yes. (This was a woman who knew Andrew for many years and loved him dearly.)

The sense of a presence abated, and we all decided to go to that same friend's place to celebrate Samhain with a fire in her fire pit.
It was a lovely, relaxed evening. She spoke some words to honour the ancestors, including the ancestral indigenous owners of the land we live in, and we mentioned by name our loved ones who had gone 'beyond the veil'. I included, without specifically naming them, 'My beloved cats, and dogs.'

(We burnt a broken old wooden chair on the fire.)

When I came home, my next door neighbour was just driving out. Good! I would not be observed from his back yard. An opportunity too good to miss. I grabbed my wands, went outside and cast circle. Remembering my dead all over again, when I came to my cat Selene, whom I did mention specifically this time, I couldn't help some moments of sobbing.

Back inside afterwards, I saw that one of my friends had left a pencil behind, on the coffee table we'd all been sitting around. I picked it up to put aside for her, thinking to give it to her next time I see her – and then I saw something else on the coffee table. Let me explain that I had cleared and wiped down that table before my friends arrived in the afternoon. Then we had all sat around it with cuppas, buns and biscuits. At no stage did anyone see this item, which was now clearly visible in the middle of the table – the sheath of one of Selene's claws.

Selene went to her Summerlands on March 4th. Since then the coffee table has been wiped down a number of times, and the floor vacuumed.

Just now, as I type this, I am hearing noises from my kitchen. It sounds like the way my old cat, Levi (who died in 2015) used to go around and bump all the cupboard doors with his nose when he wanted to be fed.

Because I am who I am and live the life I do, these occurrences don't greatly surprise me. But they do make me glad.

Tarot Reading on the Death of my Cat, Selene

‘The Back in Time Tarot Book’ by Janet Boyer is subtitled, ‘Picture the Past, Experience the Cards, Understand the Present’ – where one selects the cards to comment on a past event, and in the process of examining them gains greater understanding of what occurred.

One doesn’t pull the cards intuitively, sight unseen, or shuffle and let them fall as they may, but actually looks for images that seem pertinent. (Of course, intuition will be operating too, just naturally.) 

l decided to try the BIT method regarding Selene’s death. I didn’t immediately realise that I was actually selecting cards to represent Past, Present and Future. It was only when I started to group together cards that seemed to fit with each other, that this became apparent.

The first observation on each card is the reason I picked it. The following notes in each case are the further insights I gained from examining it.

Row 1 PAST:

MOON 
I named her for the Moon Goddess.

Looking down from above (in our home above the street, high up at the top of the front steps) she was safe from the neighbourhood dogs we heard barking outside. Home was both castle and fortress for her (like the towers depicted on this card). The crayfish (or yabbie!) coming out of the stream reminds me that water dragons would come into our back yard and she liked to play with them.
Home was her place of safety and enjoyment.

Queen of Wands 
Black cat at Queen's feet. 

I work magic, and she was my familiar.

2 of Cups

We grew to love each other intensely. Our lives revolved around each other. It was a very equal relationship.
Caduceus – our relationship was healing for us both, and blessed by the Angels (represented by St Mark, the winged lion).

DEATH 
She died.

Flag aloft, with heraldic rose, looks like one of my pentacles with a similar design. I conclude she can work better magic from that state.

STRENGTH 
Reminds me of vet and nurses examining her teeth.

Maybe it was because of her teeth she was starving herself – but using anaesthetic to attend to them would have stopped her heart anyway (because of her other ailments). Her death was inevitable.

Row 2 PRESENT:

4 of Swords 
Now I rest alone.

Three swords above: my family who have gone on, Andrew, Freya and Levi. 
One sword still near the bed. Selene, more recently gone; I'm still conscious of her recent presence beside me on the bed, and present absence from that position. 

3 of Swords
I grieve.

Three swords, three lost cats (from this household). Crossed swords slightly in background, Freya and Levi; front centre, Selene.

5 of Cups 
I am sunk in gloom for what I have lost.

I'm not yet ready to notice what gifts remain.

4 of Cups
Everyday life has lost its savour.

I am being offered new spiritual possibilities.

Row 3 FUTURE:

Queen of Cups 
I'm remaining withdrawn and dreamy.

But I'm also holding a huge magic lantern – suggesting possibilities of rewards in both magic and meditation. Mysticism?

Queen of Pentacles 
In garden, holding coin.

I can actually enjoy being in my garden more now, not less. (I had to limit her time outdoors for reasons of weather and health as well as safety, and keep a close eye on her. This limited my time there as well.) 
And I will have more money available to me without the expenses associated with a pet.

WORLD 
I am now freer to travel

 ... freer in many ways.
A card of rejoicing.

EMPRESS
Again the garden (sans cat).

I'm right to choose to enjoy life on my own now instead of getting another cat; I'll be both more powerful and more relaxed for it.

HIGH PRIESTESS 
Note book on lap.

Now I can focus more time and attention on spiritual matters – and on writing and publishing. Not to mention reading!

Missing: (UNEXPECTED INSIGHT) 

One Queen is absent; I never even thought of her until later, when I noticed one missing: Queen of Swords. The independent woman, the widow. Also one who relies on her intellect; can be ruthless. When I did finally notice, it seemed like a very interesting omission.

I believe the absence of this card in this reading indicates that I am not totally bereft, not without help and support, and don’t need to become hard or fierce. Much as we had a deeply loving relationship, it was not like a spousal connection; I'm not widowed. (Well, I am; but not in this connection.)

And perhaps it says that she has not really left: the loss more apparent than real. I like to think it tells me she will still be my companion and familiar from a different dimension. I have wanted this and been told by a very psychic friend that it is permitted. I'd like to take this card (the absence of it) as further confirmation.

The New Love in My Life

The moon goddess Selene, whom my new cat is named after, was a Greek goddess. Though there were other moon goddesses, she was the one who embodied 'the moon incarnate'. A friend just showed me this image of her.  (I don't know where it came from so cannot give attribution. No breach of copyright is intended.)

I see that I named my cat well: she has the same slim grace and fine bone structure. (She was previously called Queenie, a name I dislike. To avoid confusing her, I gave her one that rhymed with it. A happy choice!)

When I was on holiday last month, a friend did a Tarot reading for me, for the year to come. The cards that came up in the area of relationship indicated that I would have much new learning to do, and that there would be a brilliant new beginning.

Child of Crystals (Learner) and Ace of Crystals (Brilliance) 

from Voyager™ deck.

I am certainly learning a lot from Selene-cat. I know from her records, via microchip, that she is nearly eight (birthday 1st April), desexed, and has had two previous owners that we know about (probably more * ). It is apparent that she has had at least one litter. From external signs plus telepathic tuning-in by various psychics I know, it appears that she was once a wild cat, not much socialised with humans when young, has experienced abuse, and at some stage has had to scrounge for food. 

She has issues around food, abandonment, and the possibility of being hurt. We got off to a bad start when I misread her cues and treated her like my previous cats, all of whom I raised from when they were youngsters. Instead of backing off when she hissed at me, I blithely picked her up. I got scratched and bitten; she got smacked and scolded. 

It was only her second day with me. I under-estimated how traumatised she was feeling. I should have realised – to this cat I was not Mum, nor Alpha; I was some stranger she'd been dumped on for the second time in six months. Also, she is no child, but an adult who has survived a lot. When I used Reiki II after our – er – misunderstanding, I picked up enormous fear and agitation.

Reiki, pheromones, Rescue Remedy, and letting her set the pace have resulted in her feeling much more relaxed and confident, only three and a half weeks later. She is now an affectionate, trusting, well-behaved cat – with me. She is wary of visitors and it's a rare one she allows close. That's OK, this is a long-term relationship. There will be time for her to feel safer and surer.

Several of my psychic friends have told me she is my new familiar. Some have expressed the opinion that she will become even more special to me than any other cat I've shared my life with – and that this is not a matter of which of us is to be dominant, but rather a relationship of equals. I am conscious of the need to respect her as the mature adult she is, not patronise her as a child. 

One visitor she did allow close was an old friend who came for an energy clearing session. This woman has been working consciously, for years, to more and more embody Unconditional Love. Selene came up to her, investigated the smell and the energy, and gave signs of approval with a little pat of her paw and a rub against my friend's leg. Then she retreated again until we got to a major part of the clearing. She got up on my friend's lap and stayed there until that bit was accomplished, then calmly removed herself again. Yes, that's surely the behaviour of a familiar, lending her energy as required! She had only been here a week at that point.

So many psychic friends told me, after the beloved Spouse died, that a new man would come into my life, and that this would be different from previous relationships. More of a companionship thing than a passionate affair, they said, but nevertheless a great love. In some ways, I was told, this relationship would be more compatible and harmonious than any other. 'There's no reason friendship can't include something more,' some added. 

Well, it didn't happen. A few possibilities showed up, but came to nothing. Friendships, yes, but not particularly close ones. And in truth, I don't yearn for another man in my life in any closer way. I already have wonderful friendships of long standing, with both men and women, and have been so well loved in my life in all sorts of ways that I don't feel I've missed out on anything. (A 'handbag' would be nice occasionally, lol – but is by no means essential.) 

Now I am wondering if they got a detail wrong – perhaps not a new man but a new cat? After Freya and then Levi died, I decided I would not get another cat. For a few months I enjoyed my new freedom: not accountable to anybody else, not responsible for anyone, human or animal.  It was liberating to be able to stay out, on impulse, as long as I liked. It was great to go on a long holiday over Christmas and New Year and catch up with many of my favourite people in other places. But after a while, living self-indulgently began to feel rather pointless.

Still I would not have set out to acquire another cat. A dear friend begged me to take this one. She had belonged to the friend's daughter for about six months, but the young woman realised her lifestyle meant the cat was in danger of being neglected. My friend would have loved to take her, but is not allowed cats where she rents. I could not bear to think of a beautiful creature being neglected or homeless, and I wanted to relieve my friend's distress at the situation. 

'It's not a love affair,' I told people when she first came. 'It's more like an arranged marriage.' And it is certainly different from any previous cat relationships I've ever had. Further, I perceive that we are alike in many ways. She is quite the mirror at times! And we seem to suit each other. She is very undemanding and self-contained. Yet she also has times of being very affectionate, actually initiating cuddles and strokings. By now I totally love her, and she shows every sign of loving me too. Many of the things said about the man who was supposedly coming could well apply to Selene. I'll certainly be happy enough if so!

I still have pangs at times, when I think of Levi and Freya. I still love them and miss them.  But that has nothing to do with Selene. It is a separate matter. The old grief, which I'm still working through to some extent, coexists with the new, intriguing relationship I'm beginning to build.

____________________________________________

* (The woman who gave her to my friend's daughter thought she was about five and a half at that time, two years short of her actual age according to the birth date listed on the data base. This makes me think she had not had her the whole time since kittenhood, particularly as she failed to provide documentation of Selene's history, though she was listed as owner on the data base. That only shows the current owner – now listed as me. There could have been several others. I imagine that at some stage she was a rescue cat who had been on her own, had kittens, and was then taken into care, spayed and microchipped, and possibly fostered before a person was found for her. This is at least her third home, and possibly fourth or more, even if you don't count fending for herself at some period, as we suspect. Well, the buck stops here.)