Being with one's own

... and coming home to oneself. 

It's already several weeks since Wendy Rule came back to Murwillumbah to give a concert, after a long absence due to COVID and lockdowns and all that. She lives in the United States now, but has come back frequently, pre-pandemic, to delight her loyal followers throughout Australia – until, for many months, she couldn't.

Murwillumbah is a smallish country town (albeit the centre of a large surrounding rural district). One of Wendy's oldest friends lives just a little out of town and organises concerts for her here, finding venues, advertising the dates, arranging ticket sales, and so on. This woman is in the Goddess group I belong to, and is one of several witches in that group. For those who didn't know, Wendy herself is a witch, writes songs with a Pagan sensibility, and always begins her concerts by casting circle onstage.

I talked to a friend about attending the concert: one who, like me, is one of the elders of the Goddess circle. In our octogenarian years, we're not mad keen on going out at night any more. I'm not fond of driving at the best of times. This friend, who lives near me, often drives me to events we're both attending, but this time she was awaiting a cataract operation and wasn't keen on night driving – which I understood, remembering how distorted oncoming headlights looked before I had my cataracts done.

But this was just a gig in town, easy even at night. I realised I could drive her for a change, and pay her back a bit for all the times it's been the other way. We decided to go. 

It was a wintry night, unusually cold for these parts. We wore long socks and spencers, which we seldom need, and several layers of outer clothes. We arrived in time to get a good parking spot and only had to walk a short way in light rain. The hall filled up fast – mostly women, and some men who looked perfectly comfortable in such a gathering; also a few children.

The music was wonderful! As always. 

I was transported, fulfilled, immensely thankful. I felt deeply myself, in touch with my core.

My companion, who is very spiritual, very involved in earth healing, very aware of energy and the cycle of the seasons, is nevertheless not a witch. At interval she looked around and said,

'Interesting audience. There's a particular vibe here, connecting these people. I can't quite work out what it is.' I took a quick glance around and said immediately,

'Oh, it's all the local witches.' And understood at once why I had such a feeling of home-coming.

Not that I knew many faces. I found out later – because Wendy thanked them from the stage – that a number had travelled interstate from south Queensland, even as far away as Brisbane. And it's years since I've taken part in any local gatherings of witches; never any of the larger events. So if not the faces, what was it I recognised – that my companion also recognised without knowing what it was?

It wasn't their clothing. Everyone was rugged up against the cold. Some looked a bit hippyish, or a bit witchy, but not as if they'd dressed up specifically to create that look. I think we'd all just worn our normal gear for going out somewhere special on a cold night. I myself had on a wonderful purple velvet jacket over the other layers – a garment which I don't think of as specifically witchy, just something warm which also looks good for a night out. But yes, I guess our collective tastes were not exactly running to the conservative, even while they weren't flaunting the freaky. Some people, wrapped in overcoats, were even a bit drab.

As I was leaving, I had a quick word to Wendy. Her audiences respect and admire her enormously, and love her too, but we don't hold her on a pedestal like a star. She is a star, and a wonderful talent – and she's also a down-to-earth Aussie girl. She wouldn't have remembered my name, but she'd have known my face from other concerts over the years and some interactions there, so I didn't worry about introducing myself. I just leaned in and told her how wonderful it was 'that all this could happen again, and we could be here'. I instinctively put a hand over my heart as I told her it was like coming home.

There happened to be no-one else around her at that moment. She looked into my eyes and thanked me simply – clearly from her own heart. 

'That means a lot,' she said. 

A few days later I tried to explain that deep feeling of homecoming to a couple of friends who weren't there – how rare and special it was. They seemed a bit puzzled. One was a member of the Goddess group (not a Pagan but a Buddhist; we include many spiritualities).

 'Don't you get that feeling at the Goddess gatherings?' she asked.

The Goddess gatherings are wonderful. I love the rituals, the sisterhood, the coming together, the purpose of what we do. It is indeed a kind of homecoming, and beautiful. 

But no, not the same.

'Witches are very earthy,' I said. 'The Goddesses are all about light – taking it into ourselves, sending it out into the community. It's more, um ... ethereal ... on a different level.' 

Not a very definitive explanation! (About either the Goddess group or witches.) But my friends seemed to get it.

It's not an either-or. I can be many things, and am. 

I think it has to do with witchcraft being such an integrated, even ordinary part of my life. I don't stop to think about what I'm doing, I just do. Not much in the way of elaborate rituals – well, they don't feel elaborate to me after many years. It feels natural to honour the nature spirits, put protection around my home, speak to any guides or deities who might help with specific issues, say thank you to the Universe when it puts a beautiful feather or interesting stone in my path, blow a kiss to the full moon, sometimes cast circle just to connect more consciously with the elements, wear a pentacle somewhere on my body even if no-one can see it.... 

I feel it would be much the same for other members of that audience. People speak of finding their tribe. I think I have several tribes – poets, the Tasmanian-born, Whovians.... But witches are my tribe in a much more basic way. I don't even need to connect with them in person; it's just that I feel it when I do: feeling it in the way we are each, simultaneously, connecting to our deepest self. It seems I can breathe more deeply; I feel more fully in my body; I become more surely aware of my place in the scheme of things.

Some things can't be satisfactorily, logically explained. They just are. You just know.

Taking Issue with the Word ‘Abundance’

People often recommend that we ask for it in our spells, visualisations, affirmations, whatever. It’s better to use that word than ‘money’, they assert, because ‘money’ is too limiting.

I think ‘abundance’ isn’t limiting enough.

I’m inclined to be fat. I’m afraid to ask for abundance in case I acquire, among other things, an abundance of flesh! In fact it’s a very general word altogether. The Universe might interpret a focus on abundance as meaning you wish for an abundance of anything and everything you experience. There are some experiences I definitely would not want more of!

So what I ask for is  prosperity.

This is a much more specific word. There are, of course, various kinds of prosperity one might be blessed with, but all within a certain category, all positive in nature.

I’m a witch and a poet. Both poets and witches understand that they need to be very careful and precise in the way they use words. Words have power!

Magic as a Way of Life

I hear some of my witchy friends deploring the fact that they don't actually do much any more to express their spirituality. No elaborate rituals, no particular observances.... I'm the same. 

For us magic is synonymous with our personal spiritual paths, so it can seem like a terrible failure of integrity if we're not actually doing any.

I tell my friends, 'You've probably integrated it into your life in ways you don't even notice any more.' 

I'm now more sure than ever that this is true. I've recently realised how very much it's the case with me. I realised it by contrast with the many people for whom it is not true because magic is no part of their lives. 

Some poetic experiences brought it home – some poems overtly about living a magical and other-worldly life as a matter of course – which my non-magical friends read as being metaphorical or about dreams or wishful thinking. I know this from comments people leave at my poetry blog on those particular poems. It's as if they can't quite hear what I'm really saying; it's too far out of their interpretation of the world.

That's no fault of their own – and in any case, they are there primarily to appreciate the poem and to comment on the poetics. But it interests me very much as witch rather than poet.

Working with Light

There's the poem I mentioned in my previous post here (this poem) which turned into instructions for working with light – real energy work with real results. I think only one commenter got it. Others were very appreciative, but more with the sense (nay, assumption) that it was a nice idea and that's all – something, perhaps, that could make me feel better, an imaginary remedy against imaginary evils. 

I link to my poems on facebook. My friends there include people I know in 'real life', some of whom are highly spiritual themselves in ways that include the esoteric, so there it was sometimes received as saying what it was indeed saying. One friend said she would immediately start teaching her very young grand-daughter how to use light in that way. Good! When I share these handy hints for free, it's nice to know someone finds them useful. How wonderful if all young children could be so taught.

Apart from that, the whole experience reminded me how often I myself use light energy in the ways I described in the poem. Often, I don't even think about it; when a situation comes up where it could be useful, I just do it. After all, it doesn't need any physical tools or great preparation, only intention and visualisation. 

At other times, such as in situations where healing is needed, I might be more deliberate in choosing to use this method, as I have a number of healing tools at my disposal. It can be a case of deciding which, or which combination, best suits the particular need in the particular circumstances. But anyway, it's a thing I do quite often, without perceiving it as a special magical practice, though it actually is.

Everyday Magic

The next poem is called Understand That This Is A Dream, so it's perhaps not surprising that some readers thought I was describing an actual dream, or a series of them. I was in fact writing to the idea that 'life is but a dream' (as it says in the old children's round, 'Row, row, row your boat...'). 

I took my title from an Allen Ginsberg poem, which might have made it clear – if everyone knew that poem, but of course not everyone does. (These days, no-one can know all the poems there are, even by famous poets.)

What my poem does is describe the events of the day on which I wrote it, some of them very mundane indeed and the rest quite commonplace for me, e.g. being 'inspired to wear / around my neck a silver dragon'. This one (not real silver so much as silver in colour):

Nearly all my jewellery carries energy, either by virtue of holding a particular crystal or by being in the shape of a symbol with power (e.g. a pentacle or a triquetra). I do get intuitive feelings as to which piece to wear on a particular day. Often I tune in on purpose when getting dressed for the day, but sometimes one piece or another will 'call' to me even before I tune in. I take such a call to be guidance as to what I need that day. (It might be protection, or extra insight, or the ability to communicate clearly and be heard ... whatever the particular crystal or symbol is empowered for.) 

This is such second nature to me, I forget that most people probably don't do it – just as I forget that it is one of the ways in which magic is incorporated into my everyday life. 

I forget too that many people (probably most) would think it sheer nonsense to believe that crystals etc, could have any power whatsoever. Others might credit it to the placebo effect, where the belief itself has results (giving the person extra confidence, for instance) which can show up in actual experiences. Some might, like me, realise that crystals have their own specific chemical compositions, and further suppose they can cause specific effects. Others would say the second part of that sentence is pseudo-science.

The point is, I take it for granted and it's an everyday part of my life. Most readers of the poem seemed to regard it as part of a dream – and not in the sense that life itself is a dream. (I would have thought that utterances such as, 'I seem to exist, along with a world / that feels real, firm to the touch' might have been a clue. But I guess I wasn't spelling it right out.)

Other things in the poem – such as 9 being a magical number, or a friend who wanted 'a jar with a red-checked lid' being given one almost immediately by 'someone who didn't know this' – are also commonplace to me.  

Spirit Visitations

People were kind and sympathetic about my poem, I Scarcely Realised, describing the turning point from when I longed for my late cat Selene to visit me in spirit, to the moment when I realised she already did – in her own way, which was always, even when she was alive, to use telepathy and plant images and ideas into my mind.

Then I went on to describe how, having finally understood that and thereby removed a block, I was able to feel it physically when she came and settled on my legs when I lay down, just as she used to in life. 

Some readers appeared to get it; others seemed to suppose it was wishful thinking or deliberate fantasy or something. (Hard to know what they were thinking; I am so far removed from a world where such manifestations as I describe can't be 'real'.)

So, in conclusion

1) I was surprised by the 'non-believer' response to these poems – and how general it was, even though there were some exceptions. Even people of a very spiritual orientation seem to prefer to think that the spirit world cannot be perceived by the senses in this dimension.

2) In showing me how different my own viewpoint is from the general one, I was able to see how much magic and the unseen are integrated into my life, not a separate thing tagged on or overlaid, or trotted out on special occasions, but just natural and normal and always there – as much there as the components of the physical world and all the behaviours which serve me well in the physical. In fact I don't generally distinguish them.

3) I do like the practice of ritual etc, too, and participate when more formal group ceremonies are on offer. I even sometimes create them for my own solitary practice. But I have also learned they are not absolutely essential and I am not necessarily failing at witchcraft if I don't do them.

4) What applies to me must surely apply to my witchy friends too. They are probably magical all the time, and don't need to beat themselves up for not doing more formal stuff. 

I think we're all simply living it.


Note: Light image is credited as Public Domain. 
The photo of the dragon pendant is mine Copyright © Rosemary Nissen-Wade 2019 and must not be re-used without my written permission.

THE COMMON BOOK OF WICCA AND WITCHCRAFT

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Good Quote On Nature Magic

Too good not to share!

"A Witch, a Wiccan, or a Pagan is not usually a high formal magician. We do magic because it comes to us naturally and because it is a part of our creative nature. We do not study formal magic strenuously. We study nature and the magic of the elements, the wee Beings sometimes called Devas, and all creatures high and low of the earth and sky that we are surrounded by. Instead of studying formal high magic we study nature magic that comes naturally to all Priests and Priestesses. If you can align your energy with the elements, the earth, the old Gods, the Goddess and the movement of the oneness of All then you can do powerful magic with simple intention."

— Healing Magick: A Primer of Clairvoyant Healing for Wiccans, by Lady Levanah Shell Bdolak

Spring Equinox — Not Going as Planned

I was to attend an Equinox celebration today, hosted by the local Goddess Circle at the Castle, Uki. I dressed up in my purple Goddess gown and my wonderful Spring cloak that my friend Dinah made — and the car wouldn't start. 

'Flat battery,' I thought, though could not find anything I'd left switched on which might account for it. I knew that by the time I waited for the NRMA man to arrive and do his thing, and by the time I took the car for a long drive afterwards to recharge, I'd be far too late for the start of the celebrations. It would not be appropriate to burst in late. I changed out of my finery, not wishing to startle the NRMA man.

Not a flat battery as it turned out, but starter motor. It might be a one-off, he said, but told me anyway how to get it started if it happens again, in which case I should also take it to my mechanic. He still recommended I take it for a half hour drive 'to get everything charged up'. It was already too late to go to the Castle.

I had a lovely drive through trees out to pretty Crystal Creek, then back to town via the winding Numinbah Road, with fewer trees and more paddocks but still very scenic. 

I phoned my friend Mara when I got back home. 'Would you like to have lunch at Rainforest Cafe?' But she was expecting visitors. Clearly the Universe wants me to observe the Equinox in a quiet and solitary manner.

I am dozing now, over my screen, even though I meditated before starting to write. Maybe I just need a rest. Perhaps at this time I need it more than a whole day of dancing and chanting.

When I was waiting for the NRMA man, I had time to water my garden, which is best done early on these very warm days. I was going to have to leave it, to get to the Castle in time.  Tut, tut! Shame on me — dancing for the Goddess does not outweigh caring for one's plants. 

I have recently had two different conversations with other witches, in which they said they felt they were better witches, more in touch with the intuitive side of it, before they did a lot of reading and study. I think there's something in that. The academic side of things is interesting, but is not the core. Simple acts like watering the garden, sweeping a spider outside (gently) instead of killing it, lighting a candle for someone who is ill, going outside to gaze at the full moon -- these are the essence of witchcraft, aren't they? ... this simple yet powerful, earth-based practice.