Tarot Reading on the Death of my Cat, Selene

‘The Back in Time Tarot Book’ by Janet Boyer is subtitled, ‘Picture the Past, Experience the Cards, Understand the Present’ – where one selects the cards to comment on a past event, and in the process of examining them gains greater understanding of what occurred.

One doesn’t pull the cards intuitively, sight unseen, or shuffle and let them fall as they may, but actually looks for images that seem pertinent. (Of course, intuition will be operating too, just naturally.) 

l decided to try the BIT method regarding Selene’s death. I didn’t immediately realise that I was actually selecting cards to represent Past, Present and Future. It was only when I started to group together cards that seemed to fit with each other, that this became apparent.

The first observation on each card is the reason I picked it. The following notes in each case are the further insights I gained from examining it.

Row 1 PAST:

MOON 
I named her for the Moon Goddess.

Looking down from above (in our home above the street, high up at the top of the front steps) she was safe from the neighbourhood dogs we heard barking outside. Home was both castle and fortress for her (like the towers depicted on this card). The crayfish (or yabbie!) coming out of the stream reminds me that water dragons would come into our back yard and she liked to play with them.
Home was her place of safety and enjoyment.

Queen of Wands 
Black cat at Queen's feet. 

I work magic, and she was my familiar.

2 of Cups

We grew to love each other intensely. Our lives revolved around each other. It was a very equal relationship.
Caduceus – our relationship was healing for us both, and blessed by the Angels (represented by St Mark, the winged lion).

DEATH 
She died.

Flag aloft, with heraldic rose, looks like one of my pentacles with a similar design. I conclude she can work better magic from that state.

STRENGTH 
Reminds me of vet and nurses examining her teeth.

Maybe it was because of her teeth she was starving herself – but using anaesthetic to attend to them would have stopped her heart anyway (because of her other ailments). Her death was inevitable.

Row 2 PRESENT:

4 of Swords 
Now I rest alone.

Three swords above: my family who have gone on, Andrew, Freya and Levi. 
One sword still near the bed. Selene, more recently gone; I'm still conscious of her recent presence beside me on the bed, and present absence from that position. 

3 of Swords
I grieve.

Three swords, three lost cats (from this household). Crossed swords slightly in background, Freya and Levi; front centre, Selene.

5 of Cups 
I am sunk in gloom for what I have lost.

I'm not yet ready to notice what gifts remain.

4 of Cups
Everyday life has lost its savour.

I am being offered new spiritual possibilities.

Row 3 FUTURE:

Queen of Cups 
I'm remaining withdrawn and dreamy.

But I'm also holding a huge magic lantern – suggesting possibilities of rewards in both magic and meditation. Mysticism?

Queen of Pentacles 
In garden, holding coin.

I can actually enjoy being in my garden more now, not less. (I had to limit her time outdoors for reasons of weather and health as well as safety, and keep a close eye on her. This limited my time there as well.) 
And I will have more money available to me without the expenses associated with a pet.

WORLD 
I am now freer to travel

 ... freer in many ways.
A card of rejoicing.

EMPRESS
Again the garden (sans cat).

I'm right to choose to enjoy life on my own now instead of getting another cat; I'll be both more powerful and more relaxed for it.

HIGH PRIESTESS 
Note book on lap.

Now I can focus more time and attention on spiritual matters – and on writing and publishing. Not to mention reading!

Missing: (UNEXPECTED INSIGHT) 

One Queen is absent; I never even thought of her until later, when I noticed one missing: Queen of Swords. The independent woman, the widow. Also one who relies on her intellect; can be ruthless. When I did finally notice, it seemed like a very interesting omission.

I believe the absence of this card in this reading indicates that I am not totally bereft, not without help and support, and don’t need to become hard or fierce. Much as we had a deeply loving relationship, it was not like a spousal connection; I'm not widowed. (Well, I am; but not in this connection.)

And perhaps it says that she has not really left: the loss more apparent than real. I like to think it tells me she will still be my companion and familiar from a different dimension. I have wanted this and been told by a very psychic friend that it is permitted. I'd like to take this card (the absence of it) as further confirmation.