The New Love in My Life

The moon goddess Selene, whom my new cat is named after, was a Greek goddess. Though there were other moon goddesses, she was the one who embodied 'the moon incarnate'. A friend just showed me this image of her.  (I don't know where it came from so cannot give attribution. No breach of copyright is intended.)

I see that I named my cat well: she has the same slim grace and fine bone structure. (She was previously called Queenie, a name I dislike. To avoid confusing her, I gave her one that rhymed with it. A happy choice!)

When I was on holiday last month, a friend did a Tarot reading for me, for the year to come. The cards that came up in the area of relationship indicated that I would have much new learning to do, and that there would be a brilliant new beginning.

Child of Crystals (Learner) and Ace of Crystals (Brilliance) 

from Voyager™ deck.

I am certainly learning a lot from Selene-cat. I know from her records, via microchip, that she is nearly eight (birthday 1st April), desexed, and has had two previous owners that we know about (probably more * ). It is apparent that she has had at least one litter. From external signs plus telepathic tuning-in by various psychics I know, it appears that she was once a wild cat, not much socialised with humans when young, has experienced abuse, and at some stage has had to scrounge for food. 

She has issues around food, abandonment, and the possibility of being hurt. We got off to a bad start when I misread her cues and treated her like my previous cats, all of whom I raised from when they were youngsters. Instead of backing off when she hissed at me, I blithely picked her up. I got scratched and bitten; she got smacked and scolded. 

It was only her second day with me. I under-estimated how traumatised she was feeling. I should have realised – to this cat I was not Mum, nor Alpha; I was some stranger she'd been dumped on for the second time in six months. Also, she is no child, but an adult who has survived a lot. When I used Reiki II after our – er – misunderstanding, I picked up enormous fear and agitation.

Reiki, pheromones, Rescue Remedy, and letting her set the pace have resulted in her feeling much more relaxed and confident, only three and a half weeks later. She is now an affectionate, trusting, well-behaved cat – with me. She is wary of visitors and it's a rare one she allows close. That's OK, this is a long-term relationship. There will be time for her to feel safer and surer.

Several of my psychic friends have told me she is my new familiar. Some have expressed the opinion that she will become even more special to me than any other cat I've shared my life with – and that this is not a matter of which of us is to be dominant, but rather a relationship of equals. I am conscious of the need to respect her as the mature adult she is, not patronise her as a child. 

One visitor she did allow close was an old friend who came for an energy clearing session. This woman has been working consciously, for years, to more and more embody Unconditional Love. Selene came up to her, investigated the smell and the energy, and gave signs of approval with a little pat of her paw and a rub against my friend's leg. Then she retreated again until we got to a major part of the clearing. She got up on my friend's lap and stayed there until that bit was accomplished, then calmly removed herself again. Yes, that's surely the behaviour of a familiar, lending her energy as required! She had only been here a week at that point.

So many psychic friends told me, after the beloved Spouse died, that a new man would come into my life, and that this would be different from previous relationships. More of a companionship thing than a passionate affair, they said, but nevertheless a great love. In some ways, I was told, this relationship would be more compatible and harmonious than any other. 'There's no reason friendship can't include something more,' some added. 

Well, it didn't happen. A few possibilities showed up, but came to nothing. Friendships, yes, but not particularly close ones. And in truth, I don't yearn for another man in my life in any closer way. I already have wonderful friendships of long standing, with both men and women, and have been so well loved in my life in all sorts of ways that I don't feel I've missed out on anything. (A 'handbag' would be nice occasionally, lol – but is by no means essential.) 

Now I am wondering if they got a detail wrong – perhaps not a new man but a new cat? After Freya and then Levi died, I decided I would not get another cat. For a few months I enjoyed my new freedom: not accountable to anybody else, not responsible for anyone, human or animal.  It was liberating to be able to stay out, on impulse, as long as I liked. It was great to go on a long holiday over Christmas and New Year and catch up with many of my favourite people in other places. But after a while, living self-indulgently began to feel rather pointless.

Still I would not have set out to acquire another cat. A dear friend begged me to take this one. She had belonged to the friend's daughter for about six months, but the young woman realised her lifestyle meant the cat was in danger of being neglected. My friend would have loved to take her, but is not allowed cats where she rents. I could not bear to think of a beautiful creature being neglected or homeless, and I wanted to relieve my friend's distress at the situation. 

'It's not a love affair,' I told people when she first came. 'It's more like an arranged marriage.' And it is certainly different from any previous cat relationships I've ever had. Further, I perceive that we are alike in many ways. She is quite the mirror at times! And we seem to suit each other. She is very undemanding and self-contained. Yet she also has times of being very affectionate, actually initiating cuddles and strokings. By now I totally love her, and she shows every sign of loving me too. Many of the things said about the man who was supposedly coming could well apply to Selene. I'll certainly be happy enough if so!

I still have pangs at times, when I think of Levi and Freya. I still love them and miss them.  But that has nothing to do with Selene. It is a separate matter. The old grief, which I'm still working through to some extent, coexists with the new, intriguing relationship I'm beginning to build.

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* (The woman who gave her to my friend's daughter thought she was about five and a half at that time, two years short of her actual age according to the birth date listed on the data base. This makes me think she had not had her the whole time since kittenhood, particularly as she failed to provide documentation of Selene's history, though she was listed as owner on the data base. That only shows the current owner – now listed as me. There could have been several others. I imagine that at some stage she was a rescue cat who had been on her own, had kittens, and was then taken into care, spayed and microchipped, and possibly fostered before a person was found for her. This is at least her third home, and possibly fourth or more, even if you don't count fending for herself at some period, as we suspect. Well, the buck stops here.)